We have a manual for everyone we meet.
The way they should behave – according to us.
Some manuals are more intense than others.
Some are 672 pages long.
We have a lot of opinions. Judgments. Ideas. Rules for behavior.
We think we know what’s best for everyone.
We think we would be so much happier if they would only follow the guidelines we set forth in the manual.
But people are behaving exactly as they need to behave, doing the things they need to do in order to learn and grow.
Even if it doesn’t seem that way to you.
You think you know better.
You want to lay down the law, explain the rules of the game.
Meanwhile, they don’t even know you have a manual for them. They’re clueless.
You can save yourself a lot of grief and worry by accepting people for who they are.
Your friend has been weird lately? Your brother isn’t answering your calls?
You could stew about it. Work yourself up. Call them some names in your head. You could make up a story about their behavior and start to feel aggrieved. Aggravated.
Or you could accept it. They’re just being themselves. Doing what they need to do. For reasons you may never understand.
One of these choices leaves you with a lot more peace than the other.
I learned this concept from Brooke Castillo. Over the years, it’s stuck with me.